Anxiety in success.

Kickstarters are always a joyous and stressful time for me.  I’m lucky I get to describe my Kickstarter campaigns as “joyous” at all, since I can assume that if you’re reading this you’re one of the very many who have made our past campaigns a success.  Over the past four years, our Kickstarter campaigns to turn our storylines into books have shown that you folks not only enjoy what you see here, you believe in it enough to put your hard earned money behind it.  To pledge your support to us so we can continue to do what we do, for you.  For these reasons alone, I should be overwhelmed with gratitude and nothing else when it’s time to turn another story into a book.

But that’s not how anxiety works, does it?

I’m not overwhelmed or crippled by the anxious thoughts that come as we prepare to launch another Kickstarter campaign.  It’s more like they linger in the back of my mind, gnawing at my subconscious, threatening to break down the confidence I have in myself as the writer of this webcomic.  They do not rule me but they are there, whispering doubt and pessimism in my mind’s ear.  “You’ve certainly grown confident with all these successful campaigns, haven’t you?  Maybe you’ve gotten cocky.  Arrogant.  Careless.  What if this is the year your book doesn’t get funded and everyone sees you fail, and fail miserably?  Your career will be over.  Your friends will be ashamed of you!  Your wife will leave you!  Your son will change his name!  Your cats will pack their things and move to–!”  Okay, so my imagination tends to run wild.  But you get the idea.

It’s stupid.  I know it’s stupid.  But I feel like I have to acknowledge these anxious doubts because if I don’t then I will truly have become careless.  So keeping the anxiety goblins contained but recognizing they’re there seems to be the equilibrium I need to keep myself sane.

But I know it’s stupid.  As of this writing, our Kickstarter campaign to turn Star Power & The Lonely War into a book is 86% funded after the first day, and there are 29 days remaining.  I have little to worry about because you’ve all been so generous and wonderful to us, and that kind of support is the reinforcement my mind needs against stupid doubts and pessimism.

Thank you again for your overwhelming love and support.  And if you haven’t already, go check out our Kickstarter campaign for STAR POWER & THE LONELY WAR!