It’s Been A Slow, Sick Week.

My four-year-old son has been fighting a fever all week.  It hit him on Monday afternoon and has been coming and going since then.  It kept him out of preschool on Tuesday.  I was going to see how he would fare on Wednesday, as it’s normally a half-day, but there was a district-wide school opening delay thanks to snowfall, so the preschool day was canceled.  He was fine most of yesterday, acting his normal energetic self with no fever, until the evening when the fever came back with a vengeance.  As of this writing I have no idea what today will hold.

It’s been… a rough week.  Not for him, mind you.  He’s been pampered and chilling out with his toys, movies, and games.  He’s been spoon-fed his meals and given an endless supply of his favorite drinks.  Sure, the fever has made him snuggly and sluggish at times, but otherwise he’s just been a warmer version of himself.  This week has been rough for me.

For one, I hate seeing my son feel sick for more than a day.  I wish I could wave my hand and fix everything with magic fatherhood powers.  When a fever lasts more than a day I begin to question the very future of his health and well-being, and if I somehow made a terrible mistake in my parenting vigil.  I know this fever will eventually go away, but in the thick of it I begin to imagine that he’ll never get better and that I’ve failed him.

Another, more selfish reason this has been a rough week for me is OH MY GOD I’VE BEEN STUCK IN THE HOUSE WITH MY SON FOR THREE STRAIGHT DAYS AND WE’RE STARTING TO GET TIRED OF EACH OTHER.  I want him to get better because I care about him and I love him, but I also WANT HIM TO GO BACK TO PRESCHOOL SO I CAN GET WORK DONE THIS WEEK.

Fatherhood has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but the overtime hours can really wear you down.